**Quick note: I don't spell check these because I do them in a frenzy. I'm pretty sure my grammar and spelling and all of that are probably off. Blame it on the baby!**
I forgot to say Thank you to Stephanie, Mom, Holly, and Jim. Thanks for cheering me on, feeling bad for me, and helping in every way you possibly could. And thanks still to mom, who brings things to me from downstairs, babysits so I can nap, cooks, does laundry, cleans, and teaches me how to be a mom :) You’re a godsend. (I recommend you, reader, have someone who will do these things for you. It’s a stressful time. I don’t know how I’d do being a full-time mom straight from the start). And thank you still to Jim, who’s the best daddy I’ve ever seen :)
Me: Since being no longer pregnant, life has been no picnic. A few days after coming home, we’d set up the baby’s room with a mattress on the floor for me to sleep. (Turns out, she won’t sleep in her crib, but we didn’t know that at the time). Anywho, upon getting up from the mattress on the floor in a panic to calm a crying baby, I did what can only be described as feeling like I tore a stitch. If you’ll remember, I got a stitch from one hole to the other. It hurts really bad when you do whatever I did. It’s a different kind of pain than labor though. This is sharp, sucks your breath out and makes you stop in your tracks. Unless your tracks are working toward calming a crying baby, in which case you carry on. I had mom take a look at it and I took a look at it (with a mirror, of course) and it looked like ---0-- <--that. A line, a gap, a line. Not only was I concerned with the aesthetics of this (and still am), but I worry that it might become a fistula. I prefer to have as many holes as I did when this began. So after days of pain (i’m pretty stubborn) I called the doctor and they scheduled me the same day. I went in and he clipped the stitches, said there was a lot of swelling, but that it should continue to heal fine. He asked how I was with pooping and gas and I was honest. “Well, I can feel it coming, but there’s nothing I can do to stop it. So, I just have to act quickly.” And so I got a finger in the butt. Surprise! A pop quiz I couldn’t have studied for. “Squeeze my finger.” So I tried. Then he said again, “Squeeze my finger.” “I’m not doing it?” lol The books say you can’t do kegels until after the first week, so I’ve been practicing (when I remember) to stop my pee. I can halt it some, but i can’t stop it yet. It’s like starting from scratch. So now, I’m stitch free, but still healing. I have bacitracin (same thing we have to put on mo’s feet from her hospital bracelet scabs/cuts) for the tear, and prep-h for the continued hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid is not so bad now that I have things to compare it to... So, I still have pain at the tear, and I just decided not to look at it for a while. I’m supposed to be doing sits-baths, but I haven’t. Not sure why really. Laziness?
Since the catheter too, sometimes when I pee it’s like there are razor blades coming out. At least I think that’s because of the catheter. It wasn’t an issue at the time I saw the doctor, so I didn’t bring it up.
Now, I’ve got this awesome feeling of bruising pressure. It’s like someone hit my lady parts with a baseball bat. Sitting hurts. I assume this is normal. They’ve been through some serious trauma. I’m free to take ibprofen and I’ve got some numbing spray. Neither of which I remember to do consistently. lol
My hands are still too swollen for me to wear my wedding ring. My scalp has started a revolution against me. My hands, forearms, and right side of my nose have contracted what I’ve dubbed postpartum eczema. I’m not sure if that’s what it really is, but it looks like i’ve spent some time rubbing the backs of my hands on a brick wall. They’re dry, cracking, and bleeding. It’s pretty sexy.
At the hospital, pre-birth, I weighed 158 lbs. Post birth, I weighed 148 lbs. We know a little over 6 of that was the baby, I assume some was the placenta (which the doctor took out - i forgot to tell you that I never had to labor the placenta) and the rest had to have been sweat. My body started ridding itself of fluid like nobody’s business. My feet were sweating into my rainbow flip flops. And I never sweat. Now, 3/28/10 (ten days after birth), I weigh 139.8. The doctor said that after two weeks, my hormones should be where they were and my weight would be the starting point. Meaning that whatever I’ve got after 2 weeks postpartum, is what there will be until I do something about it. lol. I’m not really hungry like I was before, but I’m supposed to be consuming an extra 500 calories per day for the breastfeeding. So I force feed myself.
My milk production between the left and right breast continues to vary. I’m pumping about every 3 hours, massaging from outside to inside, trying to get rest, but still get inconsistent results. In a good session, I can get 4 oz of milk (my best was 2oz and 2oz). Sometimes, it’s 2.5 and 1.5. Sometimes 1 and 2. I’m committed to trying fenugreek as soon as i can find it. Word on the street is that it increases your milk production as a side effect. It’s originally used for decreasing glucose, i think. Of course the FDA doesn’t back any of this, so we shall see.
Morrison: She’s doing really well. She gained weight and we go back to the doctor on Tuesday. She’s still sleeping days and fussing nights, but we did get 2.5 hours of awake time today, which is a huge deal. I’ve turned the heat up in the house (again) in hopes that she is able to stay warm - She’s got some cold little hands! She makes all these funny faces while she’s sleeping. Mom says angels are talking to her and telling her jokes. I got an accidental gum-wide smile yesterday. That’s the best. And when she purses her lips and looks like she’s singing soprano in a choir. She’s a funny little bird. We’re still working on getting the pooping thing regular. At this point she’s supposed to be pooping at least 4x/day i think. We’re at 2 or 3 and I think the gassiness might be part of the night time fussiness. Every once and again we lube up a baby q-tip and “stimulate” her butt. She doesn’t mind it a bit and it’s not going IN-in there, just around and putting some pressure on the sides there to let air/poop/whatever-might-be
Currently we’re using Enfamil Premium w/ Lipil to cut the breastmilk, but I picked up some “for fussiness and gas” for when we run out of the premium. That shit is expensive. I usually don’t cuss, but i needed it for emphasis here. It’s no joke. We got powder this time though. Jim’s been picking up the premade which makes making bottles easier, but runs out pretty quickly (unless you get the big can of premade. The tricky thing about that is since we’re going half and half, we’ll probably have to toss about 9oz tomorrow because it only holds for 48 hours).
Her umbilical cord is still attached. We put alcohol at it’s base 2x a day. She gets bacitracin on her ankles for her little cut/scrapes/scabs from the hospital bracelets. We put .3ml? of gas drops in her bottle because she’s a pretty resistant burper. She also gets a dropper (not sure the measurement) of vitamins each day. A new AMA recommendation. The pediatrician thinks it’s crap, but he’s old school. I prefer to go by the AMA guidelines, lol.
I’ve sucked out her nose probably 3 times (1x successfully) because sometimes she breathes weird. I mean, babies breathe weird quite often. Fast short breaths. Gurgly breaths. Congested sounding breaths. None of which are consistent or last for very long. That’s how I figure it’s not something. It’s still scary though. We’ve got her sleeping on an incline just in case.