Well, Hello there! You've made an excellent choice!

A dash of narcissism and a pinch of voyeurism and voila!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Current-cy and Golfing

After spending a day copying/pasting past entries I feel a little less nervous about my life. Silly, huh? Anywho, So we've officially joined a country club and I'm an avid golfer*!

Last year, I decided I was going to be a ballerina and I did a pretty good job at it :) During that time, Jim was doing MMA training and although he loved it, he kept going back and forth on smoking cigarettes and felt like he wasn't training to his full potential while he was smoking, so he kind of stopped going. Once he stopped going, I kind of stopped going too. I figure, after having a baby and missing him so much (we didn't sleep in the same room for 6 weeks and he went back to work after the 1st 2) that we needed to change. He picked up golf again and I think that's great. He's really good at everything he does. It's almost annoying, but it makes me more proud than pissed. Unless we're playing pool. That makes me pissed.

Having a hobby is healthy and good. AND it made him feel guilty. Ha! So then he was trying to find me a hobby. Anything that I did that wasn't golf would be more time away from him and that wasn't an option. So... I just copycatted him. So I got a hat! And clubs! And of all my swings, I've gotten the ball in the air 40% of the time! So that's it!

For now. (I spent all week NOT posting that via note on fb and now that i've finally found the time to type it, I feel like i've left stuff out. ugg. Hopefully, I'll get better at this!)

*cart driver/rider

Monday, May 31, 2010

3/5/10 - A lesson on boobs

3/12/10 - The Postpartum Chronicles: Week 7.6 - The Cancer Scare

So at 7.1 weeks postpartum, I did my checkup. I think everything was fine. Thinking back on it, he said my uterus was the right size and my urethra was fine (i complained of pressure there - like it was bruised or something). We talked about birth control and I still hadn't decided on that so he gave me some pamphlets. I was pro-depo going in, but he said that sometimes it can take as long as 18 months to get pregnant after just having one shot. That concerned me. Because we need to have another baby. Anywho, I remember that part pretty well because it was right before the breast exam.

At first, he had me lift up the "shawl." It's this thing that gave me to cover the top, but it's fabric, unlike the paper blanket you get for the bottom. Anywho, he said he needed to see them both at the same time and i lifted the shaw and he said "that's enough" really fast which made me a little uncomfortable. I know what i'm in there for, it's not like it will seem suspicious if he's looking at my boobs. But anywho, then he did the exam. Right first, fine. Then left for longer, then back to right and back to left. He said not to worry, but asked the nurse to refer me for a mammogram. Don't worry? psh.

So i don't really remember the rest of the appointment. I had the front desk lady call and schedule me for a mammogram. All i remember is that he said it needed to be as soon as possible. "Tuesday the 12th okay?" Yep.

I totally held it together until I got on 64. I called babe 3x. I cried. I texted him while driving and told him they found a lump (which the nurse said was a "questionable cyst"). I freaked out. I got home and didn't even talk before i started crying terrible and steve had to hug me. Mom came in the room too and i told them and they assured me everything was fine. Of course, if someone else was told they had a lump, i'd tell them that i was sure it was nothing too. What else do you say? Yeah, you probably have cancer?

Mom asked me about the rest of the appointment and at that point she decided that i cant go to appointments by myself anymore. I don't ask questions. I don't remember things. Of course, this time I was totally thrown off by the lump thing.

During the course of a weekend, i thought out my plan. Worst case scenario, I have a biopsy and it's cancer and i have to get them removed and have chemo. Babe said if we had to get them taken out, I could get new ones the same day. :) I decided that when they schedule me for chemo, I'll go get my head shaved. I'm going to be bald on my own terms.

Everybody's going to die. Honestly, we're all lucky we've made it to this point. Mom suggested that I not blog it straight away because who really wants advice at that moment? Not me. Plus, there's no reason for everyone to feel sorry for me. Of course, not working came in to my head - total plus. Plus, I've always wanted to shave my head and now no one can make fun of me without feeling like a total ass after I tell them about the cancer. I pretty much went from depression to acceptance in about 4 hours. :)

So on Tuesday, I got all pinked out. Everything i wore had pink in it except for my jeans so i wiped some pink lipstick under the hem. I wore a pink sweater and headband too, for good measure. I filled out the paperwork they'd given me and read "No lotions, deodorants, etc" and had to take my top off and wash my boobs and armpits in the sink. Classy. Why didn't I read that sooner? lol

We (mom and mo and I) got to the appointment early and checked in. This is it. "Loren?" I get up and she says, "This says the 12th. Today's Tuesday the 11th?" Didn't catch that when I wrote it did you? Me either. The appointment lady said "Tuesday the 12th" and actually Wednesday is the 12th. She said they were backed up and it would be better if i just came at my scheduled time. Rats. Wasted all that pink.

So I took the baby to work and had lunch with babe, came home and didn't nap. I may or may not have figured out all the things I'd say to everyone when they tell me I've got cancer. I sleep like crap. There's a lot of thinking when you think you're dying from an actual cause.

Skip to today: WEDNESDAY the 12th. I wear a pink shirt and my pink converse. No makeup this time. No lotion or deodorant. They check me in. The lady comes out and says they're gonna do a diagnostic ultrasound instead of a mammogram because of my age (breast tissue is more dense in younger women - which is why they moved the mammogram recommendation age up). There's a line though and it'll be about 30 minutes longer, she says.

30 minutes later:

"Mrs. Cole?" I stood up and went back there. She showed me my "shawl" and said she'd be back in a minute. The ultrasound is exactly like you'd think it'd be but instead of on your belly, it's your boob. She took some pictures and asked me if i could feel what the doctor felt. I said no. It's true. I looked for it. I made babe look for it. We couldn't find the lump. I knew that meant cancer. She said to stay where i was and that she was gonna go talk to the radiologist and then he might want to have a look too. I waited. I tried to take a mini nap because morrison hated me last night, but it didn't work. Too nervous.

She came back in and said, we think that since you're postpartum that your breasts are just working their way back to being dry. We don't see anything concerning. Once a month, she says, feel it and see if it gets smaller. She showed me what the doctor had originally felt. (If you make a peace sign with your fingers and then spread them apart further, that's how BIG the lump was that he felt. But they think it's nothing.

Phew! Cancer free since '83!

4/20/10 - The Postpartum Chronicles: Day 33

Day 33 (4/20/10 - I giggled at that. How old am I?)

Not that this has anything to do with it being day 33 or 4/20. I’ve been thinking about this for a few days, but it’s tricky to get things done in a timely manner when time ceases to exist the way it used to. My days and nights get mixed up. I forget which day is what and then what that day means. I forget to do things like thank Margie Rowson Morgan:


which i’ve honestly been meaning to do since the package came in the mail. Sometimes, my scheduling is a total mess.

But here’s the thing I’ve been thinking:

So I’ve got these stretch marks, right? And I was thinking that calling them stretch marks doesn’t really give my body the credit it deserves. I mean, yes, my body grew to a capacity that it was not originally designed to handle and so my skin stretched beyond where it had been (and it did it quickly). I mean, the term is technically accurate. They are marks from my skin stretching. But they’re a permanent testament to the physical sacrifice I made, not the result of one too many cheeseburgers. Yep. Overeating can give you stretch marks. Hormones can give you stretch marks. So I’m not going to call them that. And neither should you - less you got yours from puberty or eating too much.

I’m gonna call them birth scars. They’re permanent. They’re trauma related. The word scars somehow signifies something much more brutal than marks. Scars are interesting and have a story. You don’t get scars on your own (unless you’re a cutter and even those scars are interesting). Anywho, there was a battle and since I’m alive and she’s alive, I’d say we won. And I’m scarred (literally) for life. And that’s okay.

4/19/10 - The Postpartum Chronicles: Day 32

Day 32 - Stitch Pain Appointment
So yesterday was a “bad stitch day.” It’s what I call them and the phrase I use to explain slow movement, sensitivity (literal and figurative), wincing, or being uncomfortable. Last night the pain was so bad that it woke me up in the middle of the night and made me cry. On a “bad stitch day” the pain is usually dull and throbbing and unpleasant with a few sharp stabs here and there. Last night was all sharp. So I went in today and Dr. Levit said that my body “doesn’t like” the threading of the dissolvable stitches. Apparently, not one bit of one stitch had dissolved and my body was pushing the thread out instead. Anywho, whatever he did down there to fix it was so awful that I cried MORE and the nurse held my hand and drilled me with questions about Morrison to distract me. There was a lot of deep breathing and trying not to think about it. Afterward, he apologized for “tortur[ing]” me and making me cry. He also offered a pain pill prescription. I asked him if it was going to hurt worse later (by this time there was almost immediate relief) and he said no, so I denied the prescription. It might have been a sympathy prescription - I am not a pretty crier. Otherwise, I’m healing “nicely” and scheduled my 6 week appointment.

Honestly, that was so awful that I can’t even put its awfulness into words. It makes me dizzy to think about it. Ouuch.

In related news, I'm almost certain that this is not normal. Fret not, preggos, fret not.

4/14/10 - The Postpartum Chronicles: Day 27

Day 27 - Doctor’s Appointment
So we went in because she’s still not pooping on her own. She got her little insurance card (that you think should be the size of one of those key-chain discount cards, but isn’t) and we gave that to the people. She’s officially 8 pounds 6 ounces which is more than the recommended weight gain. The doctor liked it. He checked her belly and says that he didn’t feel any hardness in there (which is good) and then he did a rectal exam. With his pinky. All the way to the middle knuckle. Oof. Needless to say she was all like “What the cookie?!” and cried. He said she doesn’t have any webs in there (apparently that’s a thing that can be in there that’ll stop the poop, but that she does have a small rectum (not anymore, i bet). Here’s our new regimen:

Karo - 1 teaspoon in 2-4 bottles per day
Milk of Magnesia - 2.5ml once per day
Apple Juice - 1 ounce in 2 ounces of water (optional)

What he says is that her body needs to hold more water in her intestines because that softens up the poop. That’s why the milk of magnesia and juice have been suggested - because the MOM makes you hold water in your intestines and the juice has indigestible parts that will bulk her poop up. He’s not terribly concerned, but definitely wants her pooping on her own. She’s gained weight though, so she’s still doing fine otherwise.

4/8/10 - "A Whole Pregnancy's Worth of Statuses"

I thought it'd be fun to collect all my statuses in put them in a document for morrison's baby book. Read from the bottom up :)

Happy Birthday Savannah! That's one down. All that's left is Mo! If Savannah can do it, so can you! (3/17/10 - right before my water broke)

i like dates at riverside :) Meeting at 2 then maybe going home? I can't nap because it's too late in the day, but home beats work since always.

I am SO tired today. It's tricky because I have a date at 1 and a meeting at 2. Otherwise, I'd go home and nap. *yawn*

MAN, i'm sleepy. Happy St. Patrick's Day! maybe... Mo Patrick's Day? :D

come on, mo! tonight could be your night! i feel you in there. you can't hide from me forever!
no mo yet. i can't wait 'til i have my body back! (even if she has used up all its goodness and hung it up ugly) Come on Morrison. Don't make me use your middle name!

Mary Ann brought her puppy in from the car today. Yay for puppies at work! Yay for Scout!
lol, everyone's shocked that i'm still waddling around work

"God only knows how much I'd love you if you'd let me."

Happy Birthday to Ed Saunders, Gloria J. Mutter, Amanda Ooten, and Carla Lemons's Mr. Lemon :) BUT not yet to Mo, you bad, bad girl.

at home. beware the ides of mo. lol

girl scout cookies, coffee frap, whatchamacallit, starburst, mentos, and hubba max! Oh, and a water. -the breakfast of champions

beware the ides of mo

So far I've put all the guesses in mo's baby book. I'm still hopeful that everyone who voted for today is right :D

Happy 38 weeks, Mo! Now's time to get your bets in. I've heard the 16th! I've heard the 19th. Put your guess in Now!

Can't sleep. Not that I'm not tired. Or at least I was. Until the RLS set in. Now i'm up. Happy 38 weeks, Mo! (even if we disagree on your current housing arrangement). See Lindsay's post on my wall. Sunday could totally be your day! PLEASE let it be your day. lol

i'm still hopeful for sunday :)

come on, mo! i'm pretty sure you've cooked long enough :)

watching The Doors while i wait for the arrival of my donut pillow. Maybe hearing Jim Morrison will bring her out :)

how did jodie sweeden get in my nap dream? weird that she would pop up.

Saturday's child works hard for a living. Chances are, if you're more like me than your daddy, you'll hide in there all day today. LOL

Friday's child is loving and giving: It's not going to be today, then. LOL Your daddy and that molly were Friday's children. Don't you want to be loving and giving? There are prizes for you on the outside... :D

1cm is STILL for weenies.

Thursday's child has far to go. Don't you want to be ironic, Moe?

Well, Molly's trick didn't work. She's STILL in there. The food was GOOD though :)

work threw me a baby shower! AND there were NO GAMES!!! yay!!

There's still time to be full of woe, mo :) I'm just sayin...

Wednesday's child is full of woe. This would not surprise me in the least, mo. You're already full of woe AND you could share a birthday with some other pretty awesome girls i know. Don't you want to come out? It's supposed to be warm and rainy today. Very non-threatening. Also, we don't own a toyota, so you need not b...e fearful of that. lol Come out or we'll have to dust all your stuff!

maybe she'll decide she wants to come out while I'm at court. that would be hilarious! pretty and funny? today could be your day, mo!

Feels like she's making progress. Come on, mo! Be a Tuesday's child!

Tuesday's child is fair of face. Your mother was a tuesday's child. Don't you want to be fair of face, mo?

i've done something each day since friday (friday included) to naturally induce this baby out. the next appointment's thursday with the doctor i don't like. if mo REALLY loved me, she'd come out before then so i won't have to talk to him :D

important pregnancy update! she is STILL in there.

(so at work a coworker walks into my office uninvited) him: do you have anything to eat in here (looks around) nothing?!; me: i have cookies (show him the box) him: (grabs the box and pulls out the remaining row). I'm going to have this short stack okay?; me: um, okay. (he walks out of my office) *did that REALLY just happen? A**hole.*

this lotion smells like soy sauce to me. it didn't before now. maybe it's a sign of labor?! lol

Monday's child is full of grace. Don't you want to be full of grace, mo?

if knee pain was labor, i'd have already put my makeup on.

Pick your name now: Steph and Two are Tia and Tio, Mom's That Molly, Steve's gran-ma, Larry's papa, Mary's gramma, dad's granddaddy - Pick your name!

37 weeks today! Happy full term day, mo. Now get out.

friday :) pjs and tv and dove chocolate eggs.

go, mo, go!

Meh. I guess not this weekend then. AND to make matters worse, the doc thinks its great that i'm still working. he's got some kind of nerve.

1cm is for weenies. Come on, Mo! bah.

i slept! it's friday and the sun is shining and i slept!!

sleep, please? doctor tomorrow afternoon

thinks it's funny that the side advertisment on my facebook is for plan b. good idea, fb, but a little late. LOL

The diaper dude skull and crossbones diaper bag is here! We're so cool.

still sleepless

Well I can't go to work today. The primary reason is not, however, that I am sick, but that I have not slept. And not how most people haven't slept. I mean it like I haven't woken up since yesterday.

I hope i don't feel sick tomorrow!

I think i have cold. I've been perfectly healthy until now. at least mo's a fan of irony.

for the record: by adding "backrubs!" to my "pros" list does not mean that I never got them before. I have a wonderful loving husband, who also happens to be a credit whore.

had cramps that woke me up last night. Mom says that means my cervix is thinning out. It totally grosses me out to think i could be at work AND at court and be dilated. bleck
well, that was at least four hours... round two? i've got two more left i could have if she'll let me

mo must hate it when i sleep. it's a shame that when he's out, me keeping her awake punishes both of us. i am THAT spiteful. ugg.

would rather be napping

lol, i forgot to mention that my loving husband got me a baby shower gift: A shake weight
Back to work! I have to wait until Friday before we can see what's going on in there again.
Happy 36 weeks, Mo! One more and you're full term :)

and i'm not asleep yet because?

baby/wedding shower day!!!

Staying up late for steph and two

overheated and i bet my back kills me later. BUT my office is officially moved.

yay for fridays! the wedding/baby shower is tomorrow! Be there or be square! Let me know if you need any info :)

Dear Mo, Our next appointment is on the 5th. I need you to be really impressive by then so they can tell me to stay home from work. Thanks! Love, Yo Momma

back at work. let's see if we can stay all day, shall we? lol

let's do this!

sanity nap

And that makes 3x. I get to go home at 1:30. Dumb hormones, lack of sleep, back pain, and general uncomfortableness!

cried at my job. damn it, mo!

well, i'm at work. But I'm wearing jeans and tennis shoes. It's the most "supportive" outfit I have and I even added the bellaband. My supervisor doesn't care, but we're not sure her supervisor will be as leniant. I'll just explain that I'm more than willing to go home because of my outfit because this outfit is the on...ly thing that got me here this morning anyway. Well that and guilt.

if this sciatic nerve hurts this bad tomorrow, i can NOT go to work. end of story. oof.

occupational hazard: spilling someone elses urine all over the place

Dear Cervix, WHACK! Love, Mo

ugg. i feel icky. maybe the soup?

i've already eaten my breakfast and lunch and am STARVING.


so i guess we're awake then...

Happy 35 weeks to Mo!

back in one piece! (a tired hungry piece, but still...) Good time! Jim's the BEST.
Steph's bachelorette party is tonight (i.e. Mo's first bachelorette party!)

Mo let me sleep in! Good girl!

woke up with the need for chocolate milk. Now, it seems, i'm just awake? lame!

one of my ob's is an ass. (in other news, Pitts made a penis! Gooooo boys!)

what's fun is that there are no pediatricians near me that accept my insurance. I can get acupuncture, but I can't have a healthy baby. nice.

Done. We were already geniuses. Just didn't know it. lol

Infant care class tonight!

has way more boob going on than's probably allowed at work, but it's not like there's anything else I can do with them. lol

tired, hungry, in pain, and waiting. it's like my theme. (mom LOVES themes! lol)

It's a moderate pain day... which is 1000x better than a maximum pain day. I'll take it.


stayed up late to watch the new 16 and Pregnant. i bet this will cost me...

Mo's room looks cooler than my room and alls its got innit is paint! lucky duck!

39 days to go. That's less than that whole wandering lost in egypt business. yikes!

hungry hungry hippo

Tuesday's court day. Here's hoping for minimal pain.

note to self: spraying lavender body mist into your eye does not help you get sleepy.
154.2 pounds. That HAS to be where this pain comes from.

bridal shower games are stupid. lol, i'm doing research. If you think you know one that doesn't suck, feel free to send it to my inbox :D

my car is officially safe for baby (and it was less than $70). yay!

Dear right side, take a cue from the left side and don't hurt. Thanks! love, ashley.

We officially have a car seat. It's the one item that if you don't have, you're not allowed to take the baby home. Granted (we're still all for additional car seats - used or new) and any other baby anything :) I know I registered on babies r us, but we need all the regular stuff in multitudes from any store. Happy Valentine's Day and 34 weeks to Mo!

Worst valentine's nap ever. lol, happy VD, lola.

We've got baby room paint! The walls are gonna be "apple green" and the dresser's gonna be "gone bananas." NOW, it's time for the valentine's nap :D

So no valentine's nap, but soon to be valentine's lunch? I'm thinking McCallisters (sp). I even put my dirty hair into a valentine's ponytail. I'm soo classy!

The good thing about Valentine's day is that you can say what you're normally doing and just put the holiday in front to make it sound cooler. I've already eaten some Valentine's cocoa krispies, got the perfect Valentine's card and am thinking about a Valentine's nap. The rest of us folks are putting up Valentine's trim in the downstairs addition :D See? Cooler!

So no wii games for vday this year. We've made the practical choice of getting each other a car seat and crib. lol

i believe the constant back pain makes up for the lack of morning sickness. It's only fair.
i stayed up for that. Normally, it'd have a question mark at the end, but i've accepted it. I stayed up. for that.

I'm sad for canada.

i could go at anytime.

Just finished art class where I made a picture for the baby's room. Now lunch and then making beaded jewelry :) Today rocks.

Well, I called into work. And to my OB appointment. I can't believe they didn't close. On a side note, my boss did call me to say she was pissed too.

This just in! Jim says I can't go to work because it's stupid to. lol

so, i'm going to work today, until they close early or i get nervous. If i wait them out, i get paid. If i don't, i don't.

i hope this sleep thing is only temporary. As in last night and that's it.

Today, Mo's 33 weeks old (in utero). Might as well have a cane and be knitting. Old lady. And Fat!

i haven't napped since this snow AND i'm up late. what gives?

1 cinnamon roll for me, 1 cinnamon roll for mo :)

3 days-dance madness, 11 days-valentine's day, 15 days-infant care class, 17 days- bachelorette party, 23 days- cab's party, 24 days- wedding/baby shower, 41 days- dad's bday, 42 days- st. patrick's day, 53 days- morrison's bday

Alert Alert!!!! Save the date February 27th, Saturday at 2pm for a Combo Drizzle for Stephanie and Two and Ashley and Jim! Invites are soon coming!!!!! It will be here at 360 PIne Ave. Waynesboro! SAVE THE DATE!!!!! BRIDAL AND BABY SHOWER YAY!!!!!!! DINNER WILL BE PROVIDED!!!!!!! YAY!

fat girl in a little coat

grumpy (obvious) and sore (would be obvious if you saw me walking, lol). Stupid job.

I am so tired. Why is my job so dumb? If they had just canceled like everyone else in this town, I'd have been back to sleep already. Stupid job.

stupid job.

32 weeks. Fat girl :)

all my stuff hurts. neck. back. hips. butt. knees. shame on you, fetus.

TGIF! I'm soo sleepy. Sleeping sitting up is for the birds.

i am soooo getting the "A Dressed-Up Delivery" giftset!! http://prettypushers.com/. I suspect Lindsay C Pitts needs one too!

is Mo-ficially 150lbs. Even if only 3lbs 10oz is her, it's all BECAUSE of her. Fat girl :)

This level of tired has been brought to you by Morrison and Obama. Mo-bama. Conspiracy?
I also forgot to say that her head's facing down. I wonder if she can tell she's upside down.

Mo is 3lbs 10oz, frowny, and looks just like Jim. Pictures to follow shortly. She's a verified girl (we saw labia) and the doctor estimates she's be 7.5lbs and 21 inches long upon arrival. Go, Mo, Go!

1.6 pounds away from 150. lol.

it's only 1:30. Days go by so much faster when you break them up with naps...
watching the pregnancy pact. stupid girls.

Jim's gone again. Everytime he comes back, i'm fatter. That'll teach him.
31 weeks!

64 days to go. That doesn't sound like a lot does it?

"I wish my parents would quit telling me to be a better mom and let me be a normal teenager." -Farrah

i'm going to wear a bikini this summer if it kills me.

My pants keep shrinking. Weird!

my ribs are sore. i blame the fetus.

Back to work tomorrow. New clothes!

Week 30: She's 3 pounds, they say. I say, I better get bigger soon because we're running out of space in there. Mall tomorrow! EEEE!

My legs don't hurt as bad today! In other news, yay for Sharyn J. Hanna Bobb because she brought me The Lovely Bones and I liked it :) My favorite quote of the whole book: "There wasn't a lot of bullshit in my heaven."

Day two after the sleep that gave me a terrible leg cramp in the right leg and then a terrible leg cramp in the left. Hoping it's the same theory that after working out the second day always hurts worse. Did anybody else have that?

yawn... so tired.

'd rather be napping with a very sleepy ruxbin :D

Apparently, the amount of nights I can be pregnant, working, and go without sleep for any more than 4-6 hours before losing my mind is 4. I suppose on the bright side, that is a handy piece of information. God help us.

nose is stuffy and runny. eyes are watery. head feels full. eyelids heavy...

As soon as this baby comes out, I'm going to push on her bladder. Take that, baby!

feeling very awake at this hour. still yawning though. it's too early, mo. it's too early.

i know, mo. those nuggets ARE spicy.

sour cream and cheddar chips are orange. spicy chicken nuggets? orange. oranges? orange. everything i've eaten today's been orange... which is more interesting to me than the bachelor. LOL i make myself laugh!

I think i'll go get some chips. lol

mcdonald's sausage and cheese biscuits make me dance

probably sitting on the couch. it's my MO.

is at the doctor, then lunch, then court for work

worked from home, then OB appointment with Taylor, then the switcheroo and more work (but not from home). How do I still work on my days off? lol

last day of work this week. OB appt tomorrow :) (1-6-10)

i should video my stomach. It looks like that scene from alien.

Chicken for breakfast / The waist of my pants cries out / Just a few more months (Feel free to write your own monday morning haiku!)

I made it to work. I give myself points for that.

finally hooked up the new router and now have internet again. It's a shame work begins again tomorrow. Oh! And happy 3rd Trimester to me!

eating my lunch for breakfast again

women who use 12 weeks of maternity leave have significantly less symptoms of PPD than those who only take 6. (hint hint, babe) ;)

i wish i had some cheetos.

my ribs have never felt more in the way

you can't be tired like i'm tired. well, the other pregosauruses can, but that's it.

kick. ki-kickkick. KICK. punch. kick.

Back to work... it was bound to happen. In other news Taylor's here! And if i don't sit up straight i get kicked in the ribs.

I got wii muscles for christmas! I'm also undeniably pregnant. lol

RLS and hearburn. At least we know she'll have some hair. ugg.

Finished the blood glucose test. That stuff they make you drink isn't even unpleasant. Not bad at all! Cut to: Starbucks halfcaff gingerbread latte and two pieces reduced fat banana chocolate chip cake (Reduced fat? There are way to many chocolate chips for me or the fetus to believe that. Neither of us were born yesterday.)

restless legs and a sleepy family. on the couch. lol

babies like ketchup

is trying to figure out who'll serve me lunch at 9:46am....

lol, so tired that my eyes are crossing. Next appointment: 3pm - God Help Me. Going to quiznos.

OMG it's not even my regular starting time at work and I'm already close to passing out at my desk.

What's fun is that I figured, "I'm already up. Might as well get ready and go to work. Then I can come home early." What's not fun is that in the shower i remembered that the card that gets me in the building is IN my office and the work holiday party is immediately following work. eff.

And so NOW i'm sleepy again. That might have helped me at 4am.

I just ran with Ruxbin back to the house from our walk. Yeah. I don't think I'll do any more running. lol

Holy hurt, batman. I ate too much.

on a scale from 1 to starving...

wth is a nursing stool?

I think oranges are like crabs. You can eat them and eat them, but because they take so much work to get ready for eating, it's like you've worked it all off and you're still hungry. And except crabs are better.

I'm going to apologize to my boss today. lol, stupid pregnancy mad.

Just got pregnancy mad. Didn't cry though. I count that as a win.

Who knows an aries? What are they like?

Hungry hungry hippo

25 weeks. We didn't take a picture as promised (I told you!) but I did eat two large oreo blizzards and watch a criminal minds marathon... progress is based on perspective :)
I'm hungry and irritable.

back from the emergency vet. we went because rux woke up trying to vomit and couldnt (done before) and was hiding (done before) and shaking ( done before) and moaning (NOT done before). Of course when we got there he was fine, but he's got ear infections in both ears. I'm dubbing this pregnancy paranoia... but you cant... blame me bc my rationality is in NoVA. 3.5 hours of sleep b4 work.

God Bless you, glazed doughnut.

green apples are S.O.U.R! ugh. And I have a whole bag of them...

Just woke up. again. I went home tired and icky. I woke up very meh.

A big heavy mirror toppled onto Lola this morning. Thank goodness Jim was upstairs and had no idea. That way, when he came down, he could be rational. He says nothing's broken. How in the world am I going to survive an actual baby person? Phew.

Today's menu included: 2 cups of coffee, 2 bologna and cheese with mustard sandwiches, 1 entire bag of pre-sliced apples, 1 bucket (estimated) of french fries, and 1 totino's combination pizza.

eating my lunch for breakfast and babysitting at work

Celebrating my back pain by trying a McGriddle...

Sleep or bust

just almost fell asleep at my desk...very tricky of you, morrison. i can tell we're related.
I ate my lunch for breakfast... again.

Hello bed at 11:30. Good morning, Morrison and Lola at 3:30. Still thankful.
I'm thankful for the good night's sleep I got last night. And also the complementary Rob Pattinson dream... which could be the reason why I was late to work. What a good looking dude.

lol. To clear up the confusion: Originally they thought it was a boy (JAC) but at the last appointment, there was no penis, so now they say it's a girl (Morrison). There's still only one baby. They were just wrong the first time they told us.

getting food and then waiting in line to take Morrison to her first bloody cage brawl :D Go MMAI!

New photos! (now that it's a girl, lol) Bring on the tights and shiny shoes!

Oops! Please say hello to Morrison Annabelle Cole.... It's a girl! (11-20-09)

We get to see JAC today. I hope everything's going okay in there. Should be able to see a penis to verify that he's a Joshua Aiden and not a Morrison Annabelle. In other news, I think he/she? likes drums.

I just ate 4 mini baby ruth's... all because I left my work key at home and can't get into the work kitchen to eat oatmeal. This poor fetus. lol.

The thing about pregnancy is this: Everything is like normal except x10. You think something's funny? Chances are I'm crying laughing. You think something's sad? Chances are I'm crying like someone died. You think you're mad? Chances are I've already concocted a murderous scheme and changed into all black clothes. SO ANGRY right now.

Dear BB&T, FU. What's the point of getting alerts of a low balance if you don't alert me? I don't know how this happened, but now JAC's $600 poorer. MotherF. -Ashley

my hip hurt and lola's having trouble breathing. Hello, quarter to 4. ugg. I don't think her antibiotics, benedryl, or the stuff that stops her eating poop is working. If much of taste is tied to smell, and the little black rain cloud can't smell, chances are she won't be able to pick out the bitterness that the new poop is supposed to have. Calling the vet when the sun's up. It's a shame I'm this smart this early.

Jac's got a lot he's trying to tell me this morning. I think the overall message is, "Take THAT!" They weren't kidding when they said everybody was kung fu fighting.

uggg. The way charlie brown says it.

i'm hungry. i wish we had an olive garden and a reason to go there. haha

I have a headache and i'm sleepy and i feel icky. Thanks, dentist and lola and thing that made me feel icky.

To Do: 1. Go to OB 2. Get Puppy 3. Introduce Puppy to Dog 4. Get Candy and Pumpkins for carving 5. Carve pumpkins 6. Give candy to the dactyl and turtle that come back this evening :D 7. Work on not responding to a d-bag.

i always thought heaven would be full of bright lights and feel like floating and peace. Turns out it's a cup of nesquik chocolate milk and a bendy straw. Who knew?

Jim's out of town tonight. I'm too tired to have an affair. LOL Ruxbin, me, and the fetus makes three! (After friday, It'll be Ruxbin, Lola, Me, and the fetus makes ... chaos?)

What I wanted: A ham and cheese sandwich with mayonnaise on toast. What I ordered: A ham and cheese sandwich with mayonnaise on toast. What I got: A grilled ham and cheese and mayonnaise sandwich. What I didn't want: That.

So half the house is cleaned at least. I count that as progress.

I've officially been vaccinated. Take THAT, h1n1.

Columbus day should be a mandatory holiday. So sleepy.

this just in! Maternity clothes ordered from Oldnavy.com! The skirt? A dream, better than I could have thought! The pants? Suck like death.

Achoo! Sniff. Wipe eyes. Repeat. (Cough as needed).

You'll have to schedule in advance: Sunday 10/11 - Art by Bethany & Allison; Sunday 10/18 - Art by Stephanie SaundersalmostVera

I still feel partially sick, but now I don't have the fever as evidence for leaving work. lame
Dear what-seems-to-be-the-begin
ning-of-a-cold, Stop. Love, Ashley

Totally overslept this morning. Good sleep though. Bailey was conducting an aerobics class in my dream. :)

Attention all recent mothers: Do you want to let me borrow your maternity clothes? I know you do... Hit me up because i'm fat and i'm poor. :D

Ate my lunch for breakfast again. <-that'd be a good title for my pregnancy chronicles book :)

Not sure why JAC wants me to stay up late. OR how well we're going to handle discipline if I can't even control him in utero.

giving ruxbin a bath and eating icecream. in the opposite order.

I'm not sick enough for hospitals. I was worried since I hadn't heard back from jim that he might be hurt but he called. Do not be in a frenzy. I'm just ordinary everday regular not feeling great.

laying down to see if that will help. if anyone see or hears from jim today, tell him to text me asap so i don't start calling hospitals.

home sick. hoping it'll wear off so i can go into work.

I officially have one pair of work pants that I fit. That's totally JACked up.

What happened to that perfect night of sleep? I've tried to copy the conditions twice to no avail. Oh, bother.

Me and an incognito JAC are off to court. (Mostly, I haven't told people because of the occasional smoking, but it's really funny to think of him in there with shades on and the mission impossible theme song.)

Today's Forecast: Partly Cloudy with a 95% chance of it being a BOY. :) (also, the odds of JAC having Down Syndrome and Trisomy 13/18 are less than 1 in 10,000. Good odds!)

We might hear the heartbeat today. If we don't, i'll be certain not to start with "there's no heartbeat."

just ate 60 calories in broccoli and cheese for dinner. Then 700 calories in drumsticks for desert :)

my hip keeps going in and out of socket today which causes me to limp to avoid pain. Pregnancy's so gangster.

How am I hungry already? If the McDonalds sausage and cheese biscuit doesn't work anymore, what am I going to do?

totally cried at work today. Stupid hormones. Stupid postsecret.

The fetus and I are going to pick up our weekly vegetables from the co-op. Jim's got CPR/AED training today. Who schedules work on a Saturday? Communists.

Ruxbin, Me, and the fetus makes three.

Spoke to the car guy: I need 4 new tires. Not one or two. Sorry, JAC/MAC. There went mommy's maternity leave savings.

I quit smoking tomorrow... sissy embryo.

Dear Methodists, We won't be at your 11am service today, because we're in Louisa. Next week? Love, Ashley. Side note: Will be posting the pregnancy update tonight or Monday b/c I'm not at home

stay awake at your job. stay awake at your job. 2 days. 6 hours until you go home. Stay awake at your job. And carry on thinking about merk's cheese fries.

didn't get to hear the heartbeat. 10 weeks, 3 days. And some really mobile dangly little legs. haha.

no heartbeat. 10 weeks, 3 days. And some really mobile dangly little legs. haha.

Got an OB appointment today. Maybe now they'll know how far along we are.

Dear Mountain Dew, Thank you for being delicious and helping me function. I almost lost it there. Thanks for picking me back up. You're like a punch to the face of sleepiness. ♥ Ashley

so THIS is what they mean by "bone deep fatigue." Got it.

I think i'm gonna get my toes done today (with a wonderful certificate given by C&E&A Brooks!) in blue because I had an "it's a boy" dream.

iS "a blessing." or at least that's what I was told this morning. I forgot my psibands though. bleck.

is tired. And I keep thinking it's Friday. (it's not Friday.)

eating ramen and waiting for Jim to come home so he can check my head for lice. We're almost classy enough for a tv show.

oh. my. god. bat! in! house! (lastnight) ICK. (if I'd had an iphone, i could have updated you, but we weren't sure if the computer room was "clear" and I wasn't going to chance it.)

HUNGRY. in all caps.

Target sucks. I'm going to write a strongly worded letter to their maternity department.
i get to go maternity bra shopping after work. yay (said the family fun day way)

If the temperature of my body was any hotter, I'd spontaneously combust. Although, it wouldn't be spontaneous, because I just told you.

Holy hunger, batman! I ate my lunch for breakfast again. This packing a lunch deal is NOT saving me money. Also, ordered a bellaband online today

eating the lunch I brought to work. haha

ate too much. I hope you like those curly fries, embryo.

So they think I'm 6.5 or 7 weeks. (I thought we were going on 8 weeks for sure) I have another appointment on 9/2/09 to do the date again, but as it stands, I'm due on April Fools Day. hahaha

1st doctor's appointment today :)

watching I didn't know I was pregnant and cleaning. probably doing a little more of one than the other... but I got klondike bars! Go, Birthday! It's my birthday! (8-9-09)

i'm pregnant, with jet lag, nausea, constipation, and now I just got stung by a bee. great.

Dear Jet Lag, I'm too tired to come up with anything mean to say to you, but if I wasn't... boy would you get it. Love, Ashley

If it's a boy he will officially be: Joshua Aiden Cole or "Jac" for short :)

high fructose corn syrup = mercury = autism? may be a loose association, but worth cleaning out the pantry

cramps, coldsores, and insomnia, oh my!

thinks being married is easy. (7/14/09 - THE day before I found out I was pregnant. lol)