3/25/10 - "Labor & Delivery: Parts 3 & 4"

Part 3 & 4: Overnight and Morning
At 11 I got a new nurse, Linda. Her bedside manner was a little lacking. She said the doctor said to give me some ambien so i’d be able to sleep. I took it. I’m a terrible sleeper. Little did we know that the cytotec (I googled it) would really work on getting my cervix ready. The “severe” cramps along with Linda coming in every hour to check the baby’s heartbeat and my blood pressure made it impossible to sleep - ambien and all. In the morning, I got a new nurse (thank goodness) and they checked my cervix. 3.5cm dilated. They decided later in the morning to kick me into gear with some pitocin. With me, were Mom, Holly, Stephanie, and Jim (who we’d decided he’d only participate in anything from the neck up - mostly because he passes out and even more mostly (yes more mostly) because I didn’t want him to see my lady parts in any other condition than he’d originally seen them. No reason to ruin the fantasy). Stephanie’s job ended up being the right leg. Mom’s job was the left leg. Holly took photos and updated Jim on what was happening to the bottom half.

Cut to 3cm. It doesn’t sound like a lot but it is. The pain is difficult to describe. It’s like it’s in your bones and no matter how much you wiggle or cry the contractions will come. That’s the scary part. After the pain is there and after you know how far apart your contractions are, you spend all the minutes between contractions terrified by the arrival of the next. Dr. Wills came in and decided I could get an epidural, but the anesthesiologist was in a c-section. I honestly don’t know how much time went by. What I do know is that I thought about getting in the bath tub and that I later rethought it when I thought about having the contraction in the tub. I was terrified that the 2 minutes between contractions was not enough time to get there with all my wires and tubes and my spirit was low. The contractions hurt like nothing I’ve ever known. It’s like you think there MUST be something that can relieve it, so you squeeze everything and move your head and flex your feet and straighten your legs. They tell you to breathe through the contraction, to try not to tense up, to relax your body and let the wave of pain go over and away. Eff that. Mostly I wanted to lift my back into the air, like an upside down yoga move. That is apparently the exact opposite of what you’re supposed to do. You’re “supposed” to sink your hips down and take it. I “suppose” I’ll never ever do that. I’m convinced that what I was doing was better. This was also the first time that I considered c-section as a viable option. lol Regardless of my anti-c-sectionism, the pain will make you reconsider.

Time gets you through that contraction, but then brings you to the next one. Terror is the word I would use to explain it. And torture. My whole body was in shock and shaking uncontrollably. During one contraction, I flexed my leg (if you’ll remember, I mentioned you’ll do anything to try to make it stop hurting) and I got a cramp in my calf.

That was it. My spirit broke. Not only was I crying because the contraction hurt, but when it was over, I was crying because the leg cramp was the last straw. It broke me. And thus began the long sad mourning cry which sent two people out of my room in tears.

Enter the anesthesiologist. Dr. Susan Wilcox. She had a british accent and began apologizing for my pain immediately. I thought that was nice since she wasn’t the one causing it. You know, as nice as you can find something to be when you feel like you’re dying. We sent most everyone out of the room. Jim doesn’t do needles and they stick one in your back for the epidural. While we were waiting for her to get set up, I had a contraction. They get more intense (intense is another good word to describe it) as time passes even though they don’t get any closer together. So she’s iodining me up and i felt a contraction was coming. She said “hold really still” and I started crying and said something similar to “Don’t. Stop. No. Wait.” in total terror that she would try to do it while a contraction would be there and I wouldn’t be able to move. I cried. She waited. Then she does the needle for the numbing medication. Then she did whatever else she did back there. I couldn’t see it so I don’t know what was going on. Whatever it was didn’t work.

Yep. Nothing happened. I think i expected a miracle. I think it may have actually been a miracle if i had gotten the epidural an hour sooner. Contractions kept coming and I kept feeling them. She came in to check and made me rate my pain on the scale of 0 cents to 1 dollar. One thing it’s a good idea not to do to people in pain is make them do math with money. If she’d asked 0-10 I’d have known what to say. Apparently my answer was a very pain stricken “A dollar! A dollar!” (I’d like to note that I never yelled at anyone or was cross to anyone. The closest I got to being a mean laborer was when she said it was going to kick in soon and I said over and over, “I don’t believe you. I don't believe you.” That was as mean as I got.) She came back and took out this bottle which she called “a boost” and injected the whole thing into my IV. It was a big bottle. (Note: A lot of this is blurry- apparently, once pain gets to a certain point, you don’t really pay attention to details.) Either way. I love the boost.

Then magic happened. I still couldn’t do the money math, but mom helped me to correct my pain grade of a “6” to “60 cents.” I still don’t get why she asked it in money. Anywho, then it was numb. Mostly on my left side but I could still feel about 30-40 cents on my right side so she had me turn to lay on my back instead of my side to let the medicine move to both sides. I got to lay with my eyes closed for a while. I was SO TIRED. I hadn’t slept the whole night before and had technically been in labor since 3am. I got the epidural at noon. It took an hour to work all the way. I feel sorry for myself just writing about it. lol

Once the epidural worked I was just as normal as the prior pringles me and not the unrecognizable crying writhing in pain me. It was amazing. Delivery’s gonna be a breeze. There was even a magic button that would let me continue to receive help every twenty minutes!

Not long after the epidural worked I went from 3-6cm. Then 6-8 lickety split! They catheterized me for a minute just to empty my bladder. She was saying that a normal “full feeling” bladder has 300cc’s of urine. She emptied mine at 900. lol. Whatev, I couldn’t feel it. I didn’t care. The pain was done and THAT was the important part. At least I THOUGHT the pain was done.

3/25/10 "Labor and Delivery: Parts 1 & 2"

Ahh. It's time for the long awaited L&D post. I may have to complete this in parts because I don't get very much time (and in the time I do get, eating, sleeping trump blogging). Don't worry, I've already constructed an outline so that I don't forget things.

Part 1: Water Breaks
So I left work early on Wednesday. I finished everything I needed to and had been in a fog most of the day. Jim met me at work and we had a date at Riverside. :) Afterward, I went back to work and then promptly went home to nap. Post nap, Jim came home and mom had made linguine and clams (totally delicious). I got my plate from downstairs and had a bite on the way upstairs. Set my plate down, and had to pee. Peeing is one of the constants that come at any time during pregnancy. So I peed and as I was walking out of the bathroom I started leaking. Leaking is also a constant during pregnancy, so I did an underwear check and it just looked wet. No color, no consistency. Just wet. So I cleaned up and got a little nervous. I popped my head out of the bathroom to mom and said, "how do i know if my water broke?" "Are you serious?" she asked. "I don't know. Stuff came out." She came in and looked and then came some more. Ugg, that's it. My water broke (about 5pm). So we 86'd my pants and mom and jim went outside to smoke. Before she went out, I sat on the toilet and she brought me my cigarettes. Yep, I've smoked the entire pregnancy. I tried to quit, but my sanity holds to be much more important than the risks. Judge not, lest ye be judged. :P

After that I walked out of the bathroom sporting a towel like a diaper over my underwear, but under my little dress (which i had worn as a shirt that day... that's how little). It's funny to picture. Jim was running around insane asking me what I needed. He packed his stuff (Mom, Morrison, and I already had bags packed) and then we got in the Envoy. I called shotgun on my wet waddle to the car. Oh, I forgot that during the very funny frenzy everyone else was in, I changed my FB status and chatted with my dad to let him know what had happened. lol

Part 2: Hospital
So we got to the hospital and Jim dropped us off at the Cardwell Center door and drove off to find parking. Little did we realize that after 5:30pm they stop the valet AND that door is locked. So I waddled with my towel thong, tiny dress lifted and underwear and butt cheeks exposed to the side door. There were a lot of people there. I got a lot of confused looks and one "Good Luck!" lol. Probably my classiest moment of all time.

We get upstairs and Dr. Helmbrecht is there. I say hi! My water broke! and he laughs at my current state. We get checked into a room and they set me up with pee pads and monitors. What i didn't' know is that when your water breaks, it keeps coming. There's no end. You keep making and losing the fluid. You don't get to stop leaking. No one told me that. lol. They checked my dilation and my cervix was high (far up in there) and 1cm. A few hours later Dr. T came in and checked again. Nothing new. No pain though. We were still on easy street. He decided he wanted to move my labor along and placed a capsule known as cydotek (sp) to soften and dilate my cervix some more. Apparently, you put the pill right on the cervix. No labor today. So long St. Patrick's day baby :(

Family came! I had tons of people, I had on my "pretty pushers" gown (which i ended up modeling for the nurse's station), and I hadn't eaten. Cut to the pringles photo. Yes, there was still not an ounce of pain at this point. Later the pill started working and i got some pretty severe menstrual cramps. Mind you, I would have considered those "severe" before I gained a new perspective on pain...

3/12/10 - "The Pregnancy Chronicles: Week 37"

So, yesterday was a total low point. Let me start out with some background info.

Here is what I know about pregnancy:
1. Pregnancy is roughly 40 weeks (it can go up to 42 safely).
2. "Full term" is at 37 weeks, when they feel comfortable that the baby can "come at any time" and be relatively healthy (less likely to have lung issues or need special care in the NICU- neonatal infant care unit).
3. My mom had my sister and me early. Although pregnancies tend to mimic those of your siblings, generally, immediate family members are good resources.
4. The most irritating fact? "She will come when she is ready." I know that. I know it a thousand times over. I know it because it's medically true and also because I'm an "I'll do what I want when I want to" kind of gal, and I assume that Mo is too.
5. The longer a baby is in there, the better (up until a point). At the end the growth that can take place (the fine tuning and cooking going on) is pretty significant and remarkable when compared to just the week prior. The bigger she can get before she comes out, the safer it is for all of us. She'll just be healthier.

Those are things I know. I mean, I know tons of stuff about pregnancy because I work in the field and I am pregnant and I read a lot of stuff BUT here's what happened yesterday.

I had a meeting with one of my clients and became frustrated. Because of the client? Maybe. Because of hormones and the whole lot? Maybe. (You can never really tell what's you and what's baby, but if you can at least recognize your reaction your ahead of 80% of the game).

Then I had a doctor's appointment. We're still at 1cm (which is honestly, fine.) I didn't think there was going to be much progress (regardless of FEELING like there may have been progress). A soft cervix is good, but it was soft last week. The thing is, regardless of whatever is going on. You, the host body, have limited control. Sure, you can chose to drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes (and take any number of illicit drugs). You can eat until your lungs collapse. You can do whatever you want. But you get no control over anything, really.

So lately, you'll notice (and I'll continue to do so), I've been cheering her along with the monday's-tuesday's-wednesd

ay's business. I've been trying recommended natural induction methods and even some that just worked on a whim for people. Do I think they work? Maybe. Is it worth a shot? Sure is. But why even try if I know she'll come when she's ready? The lack of control makes you feel hopeless. I refuse to give up being in the fight. Regardless of what makes sense, cheering her on and being pushy is really the only thing i have that makes me feel like i'm in this game at all. So I'm going to continue doing it. To be included. I also know that 6. Internal examinations when not needed can potentially expose the fetus to infection (but i'm going to have them check my cervix every freaking week until this baby comes out). Why? Because I want to be in the loop. I just want to know what's going on. I want to see how far "we" have come.

So back to yesterday: I was frustrated. I have a hemorrhoid. Yep. First one ever. I hope you've never had one. The doctor says this about them: The weakness of your rectal wall is genetic. The pressure from the baby (or pushing hard to poop - which isnt' my deal. I'm pooping fine!) can then restrict the blood flow to the veins and pretty much you get a varicose vein at your butt and well, you can google it. It's terrible. It's painful. Sitting hurts.

When you're pregnant: all you can really do (comfortably) at the end is sit. It's your only saving grace.

So i'm frustrated at work and i'm uncomfortable times a thousand (I can't believe i even complained about the sciatica). And on the way home I lost it. Fully and completely. Became one of those people who should pull over. I weighed my options and texted babe (illegally) to give him the heads up on my crybabyness. Nobody likes surprises like that.

All I wanted in the whole wide world was a break. A freaking break. The thing i realized, however obvious it may be, is that there are no breaks during pregnancy. You can't take a time out. Even if you really really need one. Even if you want to stop. If I had a job that made me this miserable, I could quit it. I could at least quit it. I can't quit this. And I didn't think that was fair. I was tired and uncomfortable and I can't put pants on without holding onto the wall or the sink for balance and everything that has been tolerable up until that point just flooded out and I wanted a break. Did I get one? Nope. (If you'll look back you'll notice i've mentioned the inconvenient-ness of not being about to take a break during pregnancy). So what did I do? Cry. Really Hard. And feel sad for myself. Completely hopeless. I gave up.

Let me get this straight though: I didn't feel sad that I don't want to be pregnant anymore. Not even guilty. I validate my own feelings. I feel perfectly fine about being done with this whole deal. I don't think it's odd one bit that I've gotten to a point where if i felt medically competent, I'd break the water myself. And honest to God, I would.

Thing is, she'll come when she's ready. That's almost as bad as hemorrhoids. But not quite.

And I didn't write this for people to be sad for me or worry or whatever. Usually i'm quite content with the whole deal. I'm writing in in the off chance that someone else has felt this way or will and can be prepared or validated also. And thus concludes the story of my terrible horrible no good really bad day.

2/24/10 - "The Pros and Cons of Pregnancy"

Pros:
save money on tampons
save money on birth control
you get a baby
good hair
great boobs
eating a lot
people do stuff for you
baby stuff is so cute
being pet
leverage
feeling the baby move
you get to have a party
grosses jim out
people think your fat is cute
you can nap whenever you want
sonograms
funny shirts
constant excuse
backrubs!
you have a built in shelf to set stuff on
sense of purpose

Cons:
sense of "oh shit"
numbness
sciatic nerve pain
back pain
restless legs
leg cramps
acne
dry skin
dry scalp
emotional mess (i.e. crying a lot)
can't drink alcohol
guilt
headaches
can't fall asleep
can't stay asleep
can't roller skate or do anything that requires balance or walk correctly
lack of privacy
none of your clothes fit
awkward intimacy
self esteem issues
leaking
constipation
diarrhea
peeing a lot
forgetfulness
can't sleep on your back
can't take medicine
swelling
blotchy skin
stretch marks
getting punched/pushed/squeezed from the inside
contractions/pressure
can't get comfortable in any position
stuffy nose
nose bleeds
dizziness
cellulite
veiny, thin skin
fatigue
shortness of breath
expensive
instant, intense hunger
instant, intense thirst
gas
inability to spell
inability to use words correctly
the pregnancy "mad"
hot flashes
have to "roll" or get pushed to get up
you have to weigh the pros/cons of bending over or squatting down
cute shoes are now classified as "dangerous"
you're slow
hemorrhoids
feeling like a host to a parasite

2/10/10 - "The Pregnancy Chronicles: Week 33"

Since week 30, there's not been a part of my body that hasn't hurt. Sure I waddle, but it's the only way to get around. It's impossible to walk correctly when you've got 30 pounds in front of you. You can't sit regular either. Good luck sitting with your legs closed. And God forbid you're sitting and THEN have to reach forward for something. Most of my pain has been in my right hip/butt/leg. Every step I take makes me wince. I've been getting a lot of "When's that baby coming out?" and "Wow, how long until you're due?" and "That baby has definitely dropped!" and "You're a lot slower than you used to be." lol. Duh! I've had a lot of trouble with word spelling. Meat, meet, there, their, they're, fully instead of full, buy, by, bye, etc.

I've been a sissy mary lately too. I cried today about my work not closing and feeling guilty for not going in and having to cancel my appointments. Also, the cry was mostly because I was livid. That's the quickest way to get me to cry. lol I got teary watching "a baby story" because she cried after the baby came out. It doesn't look that bad though. Labor, i mean. I can do that. I've never really been worried about that part. People have babies every single day. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

I'm getting that line that goes from my belly button to the pubic bone too. My poor boobs look like victims of trauma and although they don't hurt at all, i feel bad for them. lol.

I have a lot of dreams about dance. Not about dancing really, but about a performance getting ready to begin and me not having learned any of the steps. Probably just baby-readiness anxiety. And probably completely normal. I wish i was having those sex dreams i read about though. No such luck.

My bosses boss is finally putting in for a temp for me :) so I won't have to feel guilty about that whole not working thing. I'm working toward filling out the FMLA paperwork but i honestly don't know when leave should start. I guess i assumed i'd just work until my water broke. Not sure how i'll feel about that in 7 weeks (or less). We've got a family history of babies coming early.

Jim's been the sweetest man ever. About me and my clothes not fitting, and taking care of man responsibilities for Mrs. Hanger. Her husband had a stroke and is still at UVA. They were finally able to drill into his skull to relieve some of the pressure and bleeding, and he's awake now (he had trouble with that before), but he's still, from what i know, paralyzed on the one side. He's gonna take her to the hospital today. One thing that I do know is that her kids are shit. A son came down for one day (not even a full 24 hours) and then went back up to NoVa. She's here in w'boro, by herself, unable to do a lot of things because she's an older lady and her POS children don't seem to be concerned with that. Jim got a card and a cake from her today. She says she's going to adopt him. :) You can't really have too many moms.

I'm drinking about 1000x more water than ever. I'd say 100x more, but I wasn't drinking any at first. Now i'm THIRSTY most of the time. Not just thirsty, but THIRSTY. Like my whole body might implode if i don't drink something that instant. Like i want to just hold the water in my mouth while i'm brushing my teeth. THIRSTY. Like death is the result of not drinking at that moment.

I have trouble turning my brain off at night. Only in the last two nights have i slept a total of more than 5 hours. And I think that's it. Did I already mention constant pain?

"Even better, you should consider buying one of those full-length body pillows that are sold in a million catalogs these days...It felt magnificent, but it created a barrier between my husband and me in the bed that would have required helium to ascend. My husband referred to my giant pillow as my "boyfriend," and I actually named it, "Phil"...The one difficulty about my relationship with "Phil" was the difficulty "we" had when I wanted to turn over. First I would hurl myself from one side to the other, then I would grab Phil with both arms and both legs and flip it over with me, much like an alligator wrestler might do. It invariably shook the bed so violently that my husband nearly fell out and the comforter would land somewhere halfway across the room..." (Excerpt from The Girlfriends' Guide To Pregnancy: Or everything your doctor won't tell you (by Vicki Lovine (and highly recommended by me))).

1/23/10 - "The Pregnancy Chronicles: Week 30"

So I'm at the 30th week. I weigh 146 pounds, which is a clean 30 more than I weighed before this. I'm okay with it. Apparently I'll lose between 16-20 pounds just giving birth. That'll give me about 10 (or 20 when I'm done lol) to lose after. I think (although i've been slack on the photos) I might keep the photos going as an informative "how the hell does this work" chronicle so we can see what in the world happens with a body afterward. Of course, I say that now... but who can be sure. The funny thing is that i still have "thin" days where I feel like maybe i've not gained enough. Shows you that perspective is everything. What's also funny is that i'm running into stuff. Not because my balance is off (which it is), but because i misjudge spaces that i used to be able to fit through. Like the space between someone standing at the sink and the kitchen table. I used to fit there. lol, now i have to wait. It's increasingly difficult to move. Getting up, sitting on the floor, getting out of the bath tub, turning over in bed... all leave me huffing and puffing and are only made possible via grunts. lol

I've officially met the colostrum on one side (which is the nicest way I know how to put it) and am glad at least half of me will function properly when the baby's here. On the other side, I'm sad that the trophy wife boobs I've been given will actually function as anything other than an accessory. Meh. What can you do? They're all stretch marky now, which is pretty uncool, but then again, it makes practical sense that they would. Again, meh. There are things that I haven't put in here, because my audience is pretty varied. But just know, it's not as pleasant as I make it seem. There are more things that happen. That are grosser.

I was able to sleep for 8.5 hours last night thanks to God, the fetus, and my mom. I feel pretty good today. I know I harp on the negativity of new symptoms and side effects, but for the record, it does feel very purposeful.

I've been reading ahead in my book and learned that i've experienced/been experiencing braxton hicks contractions every once and again. They don't hurt, but they are completely noticeable and not comfortable. They sort of demand attention. Sitting down makes them go away faster. It kind of makes my belly feel like you could bounce a quarter off of it, though. That, to me, is a positive change to the jigglyness that's usually there.

She moves a lot and is stronger. My least favorite is when she starts doing pullups with my ribs. My most favorite is when she kicks my arm off my stomach. I've been trying to video it, but she won't do it when i get the camera. Apparently, she just doesn't do requests.

I'm down to one pair of maternity jeans left. Good bye old navy 2's and hello target 2's. The problem's my thighs and knees. All my pants have shrunk at my thighs and my knees. I smell a conspiracy.

There's been mild panic about my sister's wedding come up (May 1st - Go Steph!) because of the dress size situation. Its difficult to get fitted for a dress when you'll have made a person since the fitting. It's also difficult to get fitted for a dress when I refuse to drive to the dress store. lol. We shall see, we shall see.

What's fun is that in February there's a bachelorette party (I'll be at 35 weeks) and I get to bring Jim just in case I go into labor. This is all assuming that the doctor says i'm okay to go. I plan on bringing the labor suitcase and birth plan and car seat just in case lol. There's no better way to ruin the freedom of being a single woman than introducing a mucous plug into the mix of shot glasses and dancing (not that i'll be doing either of those, but still). Buzz Kill! At least i'm invited. I'm excited about it. Of course, I say that now. lol

There's also going to be a Shower(s) at the end of February for my sister's wedding and the baby. It's very inclusive and everyone's invited. Of course, you can't stay at my house though. Steph's already claimed the free space.

Also, That whole people touching my belly thing doesn't bother me a bit. I like being pet. Always have. :D

So i think that's it for now. I'll close with some funny things i've read in my baby book:

FACT: By the time I give birth, my uterus will be 1000x its original size. Seriously.
FACT: During this trimester, since my joints are so lubricated and loose, it can cause my feet to spread. Permanently. As in forever. As in farewell current shoe inventory. Yikes.
FACT: It takes forever to recover from c-section. Insert fear here. Let's all cross our fingers for me pushing through labor like a big girl and not having any complications.

QUOTE: (the book has quotes from other pregnant women so you know what it's like for other people) "I'm at week 28 and still running three miles, four times a week." -Amy
Well, good for you Amy, good for you. I'll stick to my sitting and hating you, thank you very much.

12-24-09 "The Pregnancy Chronicles: Weeks 25 & 26"

Week 25: I plucked a chin hair. Jim’s the one who noticed it. I know I used to be a lady…I’ve also found two skin tags in my armpit. There really isn’t anything sexier than pregnancy. Move over, Victoria’s Secret. Fml.

Week 26: Ode to the fetus via caroling

On the first day of Christmas my fetus brought to me: tears and some giant boobies

On the second day of Christmas my fetus brought to me: some heartburn and tears with those giant boobies

On the third day of Christmas my fetus brought to me: doctors appointments, some heartburn, and tears with those giant boobies

On the forth day of Christmas my fetus brought to me: Can’t stomach that, doctors appointments, some heartburn, and tears with those giant boobies

On the fifth day of Christmas my fetus brought to me: A HAPPY TRAIL! Can’t stomach that, doctors appointments, some heartburn, and tears with those giant boobies

On the sixth day of Christmas my fetus brought to me: None of my clothes fit, A HAPPY TRAIL! Oops I forgot, doctors appointments, some heartburn, and tears with those giant boobies

On the seventh day of Christmas my fetus brought to me: The boy’s name will be JAC, none of my clothes fit, A HAPPY TRAIL! Can’t stomach that, doctors appointments, some heartburn, and tears with those giant boobies

On the eighth day of Christmas my fetus brought to me: I’m effing starving, the boy’s name will be JAC, none of my clothes fit, A HAPPY TRAIL! Can’t stomach that, doctors appointments, Oops I forgot, and tears with those giant boobies

On the ninth day of Christmas my fetus brought to me: Still haven’t pooped yet, I’m effing starving, the boy’s name will be JAC, none of my clothes fit, A HAPPY TRAIL! Can’t stomach that, doctors appointments, some heartburn, and tears with those giant boobies

On the tenth day of Christmas my fetus brought to me: Kicks to my bladder, still haven’t pooped yet, I’m effing starving, Oops I’ve forgotten, none of my clothes fit, A HAPPY TRAIL! Can’t stomach that, doctors appointments, some heartburn, and tears with those giant boobies

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my fetus brought to me: It is a girl now, kicks to my bladder, still haven’t pooped yet, I’m effing starving, the boy’s name will be JAC, none of my clothes fit, I DO NOT KNOW! Can’t stomach that, doctor’s appointments, some heartburn, and tears with those giant boobies

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my fetus brought to me: Why can’t I sleep? It is a girl now, I don’t remember, still haven’t pooped yet, I’m effing starving, the boy’s name will be JAC, none of my clothes fit, A HAPPY TRAIL! Can’t stomach that, doctors appointments, some heartburn, and tears with those giant boobies